Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Runup to UPSC Prelims 2009...Part6

Last week before D-Day
Throughout the time I had been at home my focus had been exemplary, atleast compared to my situation a few weeks earlier. I managed to finish all the syllabus of all subjects within 8 days and managed to save 2 days for revision. There were occasional bursts of negative emotions but the soothing atmosphere of home prevailed. In the same week my younger brother was about to go to Italy for his summer internship. Not to mention I also spent 1-2 days in preparation with his tour. It was then that I experienced a new emotion, that of worry and anxiety for a younger sibling who was about to go to wholly strange world. It was only then that I understood why my parents were so worried when I left Dhanbad for my studies and when I went to Jamshedpur for my job. Its the fear of leaving your loved one into an unknown world. I didn't worry when my bro joined IIT Kanpur because I knew the place first hand. There was nothing to worry about. But this time when he was going out of country ( first in our family) I was scared shit less. No matter how hard I tried to hide my feelings there were instances when I got angry on him for being so complacent about several small things, like a road map to Italy, name of places,stations on his way and likewise. However everything turned out well for his journey and I too appeared for my exam pretty composed.
D-Day H-Hour M-Minutes
I was targeting to attempt atleast 105 question out of 120 in Physics paper so that I could be in a safe zone and i don't have worry about cutoffs. However I could not attempt last 10 questions. Just didn't get the time. This was the first paper of my last attempt and such a dismal performance. Getting questions incorrect is a different thing but not being able to go through the paper and that too when I prepared hard is something that is uncommon to me. I was scared. Again! Through the recess I tried to go through 500 pages of Current Affairs in 1.5 Hours in a desperate revision attempt. Normally people don't attempt more that 70-80 questions out of 150 in GS because strike rate is quite low. But I was in a different mood. This was my last attempt and I was not going to fail in prelims itself. So I took my chances. I attempted 105 questions including many half-guesses to compensate my Physics performance and left the rest to God. Time to chill out now.
After Prelims
There isn't going to be much cool-down and I don't want to stay complacent for a long time, no time to lose for mains.
Post exam I have compared my answers with solutions and things seem to be on the brighter side, for now. I am going to take some big steps and will leave nothing unturned this time. The target is still far away. There are going to be surprises. After all THIS IS MY LAST ATTEMPT!

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